I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
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