I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
Randomize
