you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
party gras won. party gras always wins.
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
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