I'll bet she douches with gravy.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
whose parrot is this?
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
I yelled at your uterus for you.
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
Randomize
