Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
Randomize
