I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Randomize
