Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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