I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
Randomize
