omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
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