I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
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