What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
Randomize
