i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
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