My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
