Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
I was so drunk at your wedding that Uber is now showing up in my Spotify recent searches.
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
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