Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
I'm at about main and main street
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
Randomize
