I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
Randomize
