Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
Randomize
