Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
Randomize
