I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
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