I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize
