big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
