I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
Someone stole a lamp last night.
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
Randomize
