you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
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