Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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