Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
Randomize