Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
Randomize
