So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
Randomize
