mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
Randomize
