your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
why did i wake up with a kid named Raphael in my bed this morning?
I dont know but you did call last night to tell me you found the last ninja turtle
You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
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