dude, i woke up naked in her front yard...apparently i tried to leave in the middle of the night, forgot my clothes and decided,"oh heres a nice patch of grass to sleep on" I think god is up there laughing at me.
I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
Randomize
