can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
Then you guys just all showered together...?
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
Randomize
