If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
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