coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
She bit a glass in half.
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
Randomize
