I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
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