How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
Randomize
