chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
Randomize
