Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
Sober January is a disaster.
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
Randomize
