i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
she smelled like a LAN party
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
The cops high fived after they tackled you
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
Randomize
