I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize
