I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
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