New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
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