what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
Randomize
