I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
Randomize
