and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
did you just send me my own nude
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
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