You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
Randomize
