the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
Randomize
