Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
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