what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
Randomize
