she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
Randomize