So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
Randomize
