How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
Randomize
