I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
Well I just put wine in my tea
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
Randomize
