you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
That was before I lit my hair on fire
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